I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Two words: blizzard sex
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
