just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
