just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
