i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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