I hate your face
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
