i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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