when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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