You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
