I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
