You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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