idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize
