guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
last night I used snow as a chaser
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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