Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
