If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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