I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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