she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
