She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
