what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
