im six kinds of drunk right now
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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