i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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