Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
