I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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