omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
