im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
