We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Even my vagina gasped.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
