Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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