weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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