I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
