If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize
