this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
