Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Vodka?
Forever.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize