that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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