Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Couch. On fire.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
