He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I am mentally ready for anal.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize