I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
