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it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize