Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
