Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
