This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
