i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
