i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
