The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
