so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize
