so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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