I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
