didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Randomize
