Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
