I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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