I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
