didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
