For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Ladies don't puke and tell
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
