plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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