i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize