No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
