I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
