Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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