Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
