I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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