I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
