There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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