apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
