Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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