We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
