Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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